Where Has All the Gratitude Gone?

With Thanksgiving right around the corner, November has become the month for gratitude. Sharing a great meal with family and friends is an ideal way to find some perspective and be thankful for all that we have been blessed with in life. In my line of work, I come across a great many people who, understandably, have trouble finding that perspective during the other 11 months of the year. For many, the reality of declining vision tends to cast a dark shadow on our thoughts. It is just so easy to get caught up in the sadness and self-pity of knowing things aren’t as they once were. Or to get preoccupied with the fear of the future, wondering whether your eyes will stabilize or continue to decline and how you will adjust to these changes.

I believe for all people, and especially for those suffering vision loss, it can be extremely challenging to focus on what’s good in life. My wish for everyone this season is to be able to take the spirit of Thanksgiving gratitude and carry it with you year round. When your mind is invaded with negativity, focus on all you have been blessed with. Set attainable goals. Pursue new hobbies. Touch base with a loved one.  Do something for yourself. Or better yet, do something for someone else without expecting anything in return. And, most importantly, remind yourself that self-pity is a choice – a choice that always results in pain and suffering. When you are feeling particularly down, make a conscious effort to redirect your thoughts and activities to something rewarding and productive that will remind you of all you have been blessed with. Keep an eye out for opportunities to be of service for others, which will not only skyrocket your feelings of gratitude but it will fill you with inner happiness. A simple change in attitude can make you feel like it’s Thanksgiving all year round.

Blind with Clear Vision

 

Before my "official" diagnosis as a child, I knew my vision was poor. I knew I wasn't seeing like the other kids at school, but never considered myself to be any worse off than they were. Then the day came that I was given the devastating news that I was being declared "legally blind" from juvenile macular degeneration. The words "legally blind"  changed everything in my mind. This "official" documentation felt like I was being handed a prison sentence for life. Everything I "wouldn't be able" to do was being presented to me. Driving was the one that ate at me the most, because every kid looks forward to that major milestone that signifies adulthood, freedom and overall awesomeness. Suddenly I was being told that I actually was worse off than my classmates, that I would never soar to the same heights they could. What would become of me? That's the day fear overtook my mind and clouded my vision in corners that my actual eyesight couldn't reach.

Over 35 years later, I can proudly declare that I have legal blindness...BUT I also have clear vision. Many of you have heard me say, "We don’t see with our eyes,  we see with our brains." Where does clear vision come from? Our thinking and visualizing. Fear is a form of blindness, it darkens the bright spots in our minds which prevents us from taking action to help ourselves. If you can’t see yourself overcoming whatever obstacle is currently blocking you in your life, then you have a "blind spot." This blind spot is not caused by your eyes. There are easy ways to identify your own blind spots. Do you find yourself thinking "I can't," "I'll never be able to," "I'm bad at this," etc? Those are just statements of justification hidden in these darkened blind spots.

I happen to know many fully sighted people who I consider blind, they stay stuck in the problem and focus on its magnitude rather than a solution. Learn to brighten the mental blind spots and your sight may actually prevail over someone who has perfect eyesight. By asking the right questions and seeing yourself overcoming obstacles that life throws at you – you will be able to move towards a solution. Once your vision is clear, the possibilities are endless.

Are You Too Afraid to Ask?

Are you afraid to ask for what you want? I know I used to be. For years I struggled with speaking up and asking for help. I was overcome with fear of what others would think of me. Would they think I am incapable? Inept? Stupid? Needy? I convinced myself that the response would automatically be "No." Asking seems to be a challenge that holds so many people back. Intimidation, embarrassment and fear of rejection keeps people from asking for the information, assistance, support or time needed be successful in life.  It took me a long time but I have learned that asking is the most powerful and neglected secret to success and happiness.

A few weeks ago, I had the pleasure of being involved with one of the best professional and personal experiences of my life. I was chosen to be an assistant at Jack Canfield's week-long "Breakthrough to Success" seminar.  Jack is a renowned speaker the mind behind the Chicken Soup for the Soul® series. How did this come about? Simply because I learned to ask. It took me many years (and many missed opportunities) to learn that asking is worth the risk. A response of "no" puts you in no worse position than you started. I took a shot and asked to be involved in this program and the risk was worth the reward!  While at the seminar, I also offered to be Jack's "roadie" and take care of his guitar, as we are both musicians. I took it back to my room each night to play it and tune it and felt good knowing I helped Jack out during this very busy week.

Once I swallowed my fear and learned how to ask, doors started opening for me. I have found that being afraid to ask for what you want or need is much worse than getting an answer of "No." We are all here on this Earth to serve and help each other as best possible. The answer you give or get may not always be a "Yes," but human nature dictates that most people are willing to help whenever possible. The reality is that we all tend to feel our best after knowing we have helped another. So start asking for what you need with a positive expectation, believe that you deserve the help. And when someone asks you for help, understand that they may be feeling intimidated and vulnerable and be empathetic in your response.

We are all here for one another. So stop being a "go-getter" and start becoming a "go-giver."

What are You Transmitting?

 I was recently reading an article by a doctor that was repackaging information and making it seem like his own. If you know me, you probably already know I am not a fan of textbook teachers with no "real world" experience. It is like taking a class on how to start your own business and the teacher is teaching you out of a book. Most times they have never actually started a business. Let me tell you I have started three businesses and there is not a textbook out there that I could have followed. I have read many published books on startup businesses. Yes they have given me some helpful direction, but they did not spell out the knowledge that, in hindsight, would have been most important.

I like the blunt truth, whether the results are positive or negative. "Hey, this is what I did and this is the outcome I achieved." Despite the outcome, the honesty will always help move me in the direction of achieving my Vision.  To me, sharing your experience, rather than your book-learned understanding, means you now have something vital to transmit.

You cannot transmit something you do not have. It reminds me of many people who give us advice that we should improve our lives - but they are not doing it themselves. Next time you choose to transmit knowledge and advice to a friend, coworker or family member, ask yourself whether your transmission will provide value. If it is not based on your experience, perhaps the "advice" shouldn't be shared.

Living in the information age has enabled us not to think and "just Google it."  My experience has taught me that if  I sit and ask the right questions in a quiet place, I can usually get a lot more than Google can provide. Of course if you are looking how to boil and egg, by all means consult Google. But if you want to live a life of purpose, look inside.

Let Your Freedom Ring

Celebrating Independence Day has made me think a lot about the importance of mental freedom. Your freewill is your freedom of thought. You control how you view and approach yourself and the world around you. I have been facing physical and mental obstacles my whole life. Once I embraced my mental freedom and made new choices about how to think and act, I was able to find a lot of the happiness that eluded me for so long. I'd like to share some of the key things I like to remind myself, particularly when faced with new struggles or challenges, so I can hold onto my mental independence:

• Believing in yourself is a choice.
• The past is the past and should remain there.
• Your level of self confidence is no one else's fault or responsibility.
• Beliefs are  very powerful - If you think you can or can’t, you’re right.
• "I can’t" is the most powerful source of negation tool in your body. It disempowers you.
• We are all smart enough to do what we want to do.
• Always act as if the seemingly impossible is possible.
• Negative beliefs are lies in disguise.
• We have 80 to 100,000 thoughts per day. 85% of them involve the past. 80% of them are negative.  If you give negative thoughts any power, they will take control over you. You control your percentages.
• Make a decision and follow through with action.
• Believing in yourself is more important than knowledge.  The application of knowledge is power.
• We shouldn’t worry about what other people think of us.  People are far more concerned about themselves than they are about you.  An evil, corroding and crippling fear is to do anything in life and worry about what people are thinking of you.  People have stopped themselves from doing so much in life because they are too afraid of what other people will think about them.  In reality, people are thinking about their own lives.
• We are all equal.

At Vision Dynamics, our goal is to encourage people to embrace their freedom and introduce them to tools to read and live independently again. But the real tool lies in your thoughts and whether you choose freedom. Happy July, everyone!

Have You Hit the Wall Lately?

 

What wall? That wall of life. The frustrating one you seem to bang into at the most inconvenient times.  The Health Wall, the Physical Wall, the Relationship Wall, the Mental Block wall etc….

What happens when you hit the wall?

1. Do you stay down and instantly dip into a spiral of negative self-talk? "I am not smart enough, they are all better than me, I never should have tried this, why do I always fail?"
2. Do you just sit there and wait for someone to come knock down this wall for you? Or graciously turn around and revert to your old way of living?

 

3. Do you get a bulldozer, a rope, round up some friends to help and you blast that thing down so you can head towards your destiny/goal/desire?

 

We see this scenario in at least 80% of the people who visit our store. Their walls have been unknowingly  built for them by their eye doctors, their family, their friends and, mostly,  by their own "I can’t do this" attitude. Each of the above laying a few bricks at a time until, all of a sudden, they are confronted with a towering and seemingly impassable wall. But with our help, they discover they can smash down those walls to regain their independence and, ultimately, engage life again.

Lately I have been hitting my own wall in the exercise department. I have been very spotty with getting it done. But I have also found myself easily creating excuses for why I don’t have time each particular day.
As my good friend brought to my attention yesterday, the best time to work out is first thing in the morning. I know this, but……

We all know it is extremely important to exercise at least 3 times per week and maintain a healthy diet. Do we do it? Only you can answer that. If we did, Dr. Phil or Dr. OZ might not have jobs on TV……

So what wall are you facing? And what are you going to do about it?
You have three choices. Which one will you pick.

Doom and Gloom

 

It still amazes me that, for the most part, the only thing the news reports is what is wrong in the world. They love to focus on the shortcomings of our society such as economic downturns, violence, political corruption and more.  If you get a chance to ask someone behind the scenes, they will tell you that negativity is what sells, that these are the stories the public wants to hear.

Wow, I am certainly glad I don’t hang around those people all day! Years ago I made a conscious decision to stop watching the news, reading the paper, or paying attention to anyone whose job it is to tell us how bad things are. Occasionally, for fun, I'll tune in to see what is new. Absolutely nothing.

In my opinion, the saddest part is that so many people buy into the constant negativity. As we know from the store, people spend so much of their time nowadays with the 24 hour news channels on in the background, with its negativity constantly invading their subconscious. Sure, in my 47 years on this Earth, times have  been shown to go up and down. But last time I checked, people are blessed with the freewill to choose their attitude and happiness, and if they are not happy with something in their lives, they can choose to do something about it.

Over the past four months I have been traveling quite a bit. I have been to California, Ohio, Atlanta, Baltimore and Florida just to name a few. I do not get the sense of "Doom and Gloom" from the visually impaired community that I am meeting. In fact, it is quite the opposite. I am finding a great diversity of people from different backgrounds, connecting with other people suffering from vision impairment. Despite differences in geography or economic status, they are all looking for solution to better serve themselves, their patients, their clients, their students etc.

As the season changes and more pleasant days are upon us, be inspired to take charge and get back into the driver seat of life. "They" -  whoever "they" are - can't do it for you. "It" - whatever "it" is - will not fix itself. Take a look outside now that spring is here and observe how nature all around us takes charge and does what is does best, no matter what the news has to say…

Sowing Our Own Seeds

Spring is finally upon us! Soon we will hear the familiar chirping of the returning birds and those bulbs we planted before the frost will start to peek through, giving us the sign of regeneration and new life. While you begin to tend to your yard and garden this month, repairing it from the winter damage, don't forget to prepare yourself for spring as well!

It's time to do a little self-gardening. It's time to plant your own seeds of change so that you can grow a beautiful healthy mind and soul. The steps on the packet are pretty simple:

1. Plant your seed - a thought, a decision, a goal or a dream. What seed do you want to sow? How big do you hope it will grow?
2. Feed your garden with plenty of water and healthy plant food. This is crucial for proper physical and emotional development of your seedling.
3. Pull the weeds - anything that can suffocate, overgrow or hinder the development of your seed. Negative thoughts, supportive people and unhealthy environments will all stunt the seed's growth.
4. Give your seed plenty of sunlight - get outside and surround yourself with love, light and laughter.

Follow these steps daily, and I can almost guarantee your seed will mature and bloom more beautifully than you ever expected! Humans are very much like the gardens we tend to. We can plant a seed within ourselves, but if we don't take daily nurturing action to promote healthy growth, we will never reap the rewards. By taking daily action, your goal, dream or vision will materialize into fruitful success. Here at Vision Dynamics, we try to be gardeners of personal growth whenever possible. We see people come into the store every day who have been given incorrect or limited information about their eye condition. While glasses may be unable to help anymore, there is so much more available. We can help plant the seed of change and hope, but it still needs to be nurtured and tended to in order to develop.

If you have the willingness, there is always a way. So what will you plant this month?

Can't vs Won't: The Choice is Yours

Every day at our store, we interact with individuals who are in the process of coming to terms mentally and physically with their low vision condition. Many of them are understandably frustrated by what they feel they can no longer do. The most common problems we hear are, "I can't read anymore," "I can't cook anymore," "I can't do things as independently as I used to."

But then something exciting happens - they learn they actually CAN. When they open their minds  and consider some of the amazing solutions available, they realize that with some change, modification and assistance, they can regain parts of their old selves again. And, best of all, create new parts of self. Unfortunately we also see another scenario quite often  - customers who learn about amazing solutions, realize the possibilities available to them but still don't take action.

As many of you know, I have been legally blind since childhood. As founder of Vision Dynamics and a public speaker, I have had the opportunity to meet and talk with so many people with low vision, spanning decades in age. I've noticed a common theme amongst the ones who do not want to proactively adjust their lives and who find themselves constantly complaining about their condition - that is mindset. They are plagued with the "I Can't" negative self-talk. I often ask them to consider whether they CAN'T or they WON'T and to truly think about the difference between the two terms.

If you have something in your life that you find yourself consistently complaining about - whether it's your vision, your job, a relationship, money, or anything else, it's time to tell yourself that "enough is enough." It is time to convert your thinking to the "I CAN" mindset. You can do something about it. You can make healthy decisions and beneficial choices, even if it requires adjusting to some change. And if people close to you are suffering from a case of the "I Can'ts," then encourage them take action to help them find solutions and embrace the changes that are for the positive. Change can be scary and uncomfortable, but the payoff can be sweet.

If there's one thing you CAN'T do this month, it's force your team to win the NCAA brackets. That's up to sheer luck. But if there's something you CAN do this month, it's to determine what the proverbial pot of gold is at the end of your rainbow and take the first steps toward reaping the rewards. May March bring you great happiness.

What's Your Excuse?

As the mercury drops in these cold, winter months, it seems like the only thing that heats up is our complaining. It starts out with, "February is too cold!" Have you been complaining of the cold?  Did you ever stop and really think about why people complain? Yes, it's cold. But do they think somehow we are going to warm it up for them? Will complaining about it somehow make it warmer?

What you focus on grows. By fixating on what you do not like, you usually get more of it.I don’t know about you, but I certainly don’t want to hear the negative "poor me’s." Among the common complaints I have heard just recently are:My boss is a jerk.
I do not like my job.
Taxes are killing me.
I don't have enough time to work out or cook.
I never have time to eat a healthy meal.
Gas prices are too high.
My parents are a pain in the butt.
And the list goes on...

I was once a first class complainer. It all started with my Eye Disease. Eventually it snowballed and everything else became the problem - everything except me.

So next time you find yourself complaining, take a moment to see if you can provide your own solution. If you are cold, ask yourself  "Can I just put on some warmer clothes or turn on my fireplace? Can I run in place or do something to increase my heart rate and circulation?" The bottom line is you can always do something. Complainers would rather not because they like sitting on the problem. In my opinion, if you live in this great country and are alive and breathing to read this, then it's time to put your complaints in perspective.

Now throw on an extra sweater and get going! Just like the blind guy in the picture above who is out for a winter hike and feeling grateful for everything he DOES have.